"And I want you to know, my dear brothers and sisters, that everything that has happened to me here has helped to spread the Good News."
(Philippians 1:12 NLT)
If you discern good from evil, than you are not judging, you are deciding what is of God and good, and what is of the world and its perverted ways.
Growing up, I went to church several times a week, Bible Club on Saturdays, and Bible Camp in the summer. I loved learning about Jesus and God's plan.
From the age of 5, all I ever wanted to be when I grew up was a cook or priest.
I spent most weekends with my mother learning to cook in the kitchen, while my sisters watched football with my dad.
I was a naturally artistic child and loved to cartoon and paint. Through professional development I learned the basic principles of art and design.
My mother got me involved with community performing arts around the age of 6. I learned stage, voice and acting at Schenectady Light Opera Company.
The Schenectady Light Opera Company (SLOC) was born in 1926 when a group of Van Corlaer and Draper alumni joined together to present short plays containing songs and comedy acts.
At Schenectady Light Opera Company I was introduced to the allure of the Bohemian carefree lifestyle. By age 8, I was drinking scotch whisky regularly to cope with how I really felt inside---out of place, ugly, too fat and unlovable.
What Made Me Think,
"I Must Be Homosexual?"
I remember attending the wedding of my mother's good friend, Tina, around the age of 10. Tina married Lisa, her same sex lover of many years at the Salvation Army in Schenectady, New York. I did not see anything wrong with the marriage and the fact that the two were going to adopt a child.
Around the age of 13, I started becoming very depressed because most of the children my age were starting to date and I felt like no one was attracted to me. Then one day, a foster brother in our home told me that I was handsome and kissed me. I felt close to him and allowed him to hug me. As he hugged me, he continued to kiss me softly and although it felt weird, it was the first time that someone had shown me this type of physical attention. Before I knew it, I was taking off my clothes and allowing him to have sex with me. It hurt real bad and I felt ashamed. I tried to break away but he held me tighter and brought himself to completion quickly and then let me go.
After being sexually manipulated (not molested), I pulled up my underwear using it to wipe myself off from the painful, disgusting and demoralizing incident.
In my mind, the day that I allowed another boy to have sex with me, meant that I was most likely a homosexual, or at least had homosexual tendencies.
The summer of my 13th birthday, I tried to repent by becoming a counselor-in-training at Camp Pattersonville, a Christian Bible Camp, where I first accepted Christ as my personal Savior the summer after my 8th birthday (when I first started using alcohol and food to cope with my feelings).
I worked at Camp Pattersonville each summer for 8 weeks. The camp became my summer reprieve that made me feel safe and able to get back on track from the ungodly life that I led during the school year. At school, I was a tough guy and rebel who always got into fights. Trained in Martial Arts, I never realized that I could have possibly killed someone, until the day I got into a fight with another kid from a separate dojo (it was the bloodiest fight of my life).
Breaking Away and Fighting with the "Fear, Anger and Sword of Peter
Around the age of 15, my foster brother, who I allowed to have anal sex with me, tried to coerce me again when my parents were not home. I warned him to get away from me, and when he kept reaching for me, I ran into the kitchen and grabbed a knife. I told the guy that if he kept trying to grab me that I would cut him. He did not heed the warning and went to grab at me again, so I took the knife and sliced his hand. Blood was everywhere and he was shocked that I cut him. I do not remember anyone in my family ever addressing the fact that I cut this man, and the incident was swept under the rug without any questioning as to what happened and what led me to cut him.
At age 16, I became a full time counselor at Camp Pattersonville. That summer, I broke down after the kids went to sleep and repented to the Lord for living like a hypocrite and rededicated my life to Christ. I spent the next two years living closer to the narrow path and getting more involved with my church.
I went away to college at age 18 and was elected Freshman Class President. Looking back now, I believe that I was a psychology and religious education major because I was still trying to figure myself out and all the sexual immorality that I had witnessed within the Roman Catholic Church and religious world.
By my sophomore year, I started dating a women from Montville, NJ and lost my virginity in the back seat of my car. Around the same time, I was introduced to cocaine at this "Christian" Liberal Arts College and became fully addicted.
The college was based in Presbyterianism and had strange rules that forbid playing with traditional playing cards and dancing (all of which the men of the Bible did). The apostles cast lots in the book of Acts (Acts 1:26), and David danced before the Lord (2 Samuel 6:14).
Moreover, the college Pastor was having an extra-marital affair with a student while his wife was dying of cancer and the dean was also sleeping with a student.
I justified my drinking and drugging by rationalizing that the leaders of the Christian college that I attended were adulterers and hypocrites, so I should be entitled to enjoy my college years.
At the end of my sophomore year, I was on academic probation and eventually was kicked out of college for all sorts of misbehavior and breaking the rules. I felt targeted by the administration ever since my freshman year, because I resigned from school politics by using 1 Timothy 3 to clarify that I was a hypocrite. The college administration did not like the fact that I told on myself, because it put another dark mark on the politics of the college.
After being expelled from college, I worked for childhood friends transporting drugs and drug dealers (while working at an Italian restaurant during the day that also sold drugs and A-to-Z). I had totally gone astray from walking with the Lord, and trying to live right...I started acting like my own god.
I was 21 years old, when I landed in drug rehab for the first time. During a family intervention meeting at the rehab, I told my parents about the fact that I experimented with homosexuality at age 13, and allowed my foster brother to have anal sex with me.
From age 13, I had tried to regain the masculinity that I thought I had lost. The few relationships that I ended up in, my only focus was having what I considered to be "normal" sex. I was now in 12-Step recovery and learning to live drug free. It took me over a year to finally surrender drugs and alcohol completely.
I still had no sexual identity, self-esteem and self-image. I knew I liked the prettier and finer things in life. I was a thespian, artist, painter, and a man who liked fashion, style, interior design, classical music and opera.
Moreover, I know how to sow, do laundry and iron.
I am a cook who has become comfortable embracing my feminine side to practice culinary arts and cater, do arts and crafts, etc. In the past, I assumed that all these passions surely made me gay.
My second year in 12-Step recovery, I attended a convention in Cape Cod, Massachusetts. At the banquet meeting, I heard a women tell my story. She talked about all the heterosexual and homosexual-lesbian relationships in her life. She talked about the fact that in her life that she had several women friends who were naturally attractive and that she felt close to personally. The convention speaker went on to say that whenever she felt close to someone, she felt like she had to have sex with them to show her love. I heard the convention speaker say, "I had to learn that intimacy is not physical---rather it means, "Into-Me-You-See."
That convention was a defining moment in my life that led me to realize that my thinking was all screwed up and I was spiritually and mentally sick.
Christ's Church is Open to All
Today, we find much controversy in the secular world and Christian circles as it relates to homosexuality. People do not want to compare their life to the biblical standard, and instead look for ways to discount the Holy Scriptures to justify their lifestyle and desires of their heart and flesh that wars against the Spirit.
17 "For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do. 18 But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. 19 Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, 20 idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, 21 envy,[a. murder] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. 22 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law."
2 Timothy 4:3-4 (NIV)
"3 For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear. 4 They will turn their ears away from the truth and turn aside to myths."
We cannot condone unnatural and immoral behavior:
Think about this: Is it acceptable for a child molester to say, "God made me this way and that is why I lust after little kids?"
What makes a homosexual relationship, where one person is the dominating force, a healthy relationship, just because it seems consensual?
Now that I have shared one of the most tragic things that plagued me in my former life, I have to share with you one of the hardest sayings of the Apostle Paul...
"11 Why? Because I do not love you? God knows I do!
2 Corinthians 11:11 NIV
Paul was challenged in his evangelizing and said, "No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize (1 Corinthians 9:27 NIV).
Paul constantly had a thorn in his flesh and some scholars believed that Paul suffered with the lust of the flesh, lust of the eyes and pride of life (1 John 2:16) like we all do from time to time. However, the fact that we fall into temptation does not disqualify us from practicing and teaching about Christian accountability and following God's Word, instead of the traditions of men.
If you call yourself a Christian, then you cannot get caught up in the world view of political correctness and the dogma of complacency (known as the Ecumenical Movement)---by being indifferent to the hard sayings of God's Word.
I declare that both people in a homosexual relationship are spiritually and often mentally troubled and in denial. Help people who have depraved minds.
Although the writer of the book of Hebrews is unknown, he or she gives clear instructions on training ourselves to teach and discern good versus evil.
Hebrews 5:11-18 (NLT)
A Call to Spiritual Growth"11 There is much more we would like to say about this, but it is difficult to explain, especially since you are spiritually dull and don’t seem to listen. 12 You have been believers so long now that you ought to be teaching others. Instead, you need someone to teach you again the basic things about God’s word. You are like babies who need milk and cannot eat solid food. 13 For someone who lives on milk is still an infant and doesn’t know how to do what is right. 14 Solid food is for those who are mature, who through training have the skill to recognize the difference between right and wrong."
Next, we find in Chapter Six of the book of Hebrews that we need to stop teaching the basic things about God over and over.
Hebrews 6:1-3 (NLT)
"6 So let us stop going over the basic teachings about Christ again and again. Let us go on instead and become mature in our understanding. Surely we don’t need to start again with the fundamental importance of repenting from evil deeds[a] and placing our faith in God. 2 You don’t need further instruction about baptisms, the laying on of hands, the resurrection of the dead, and eternal judgment. 3 And so, God willing, we will move forward to further understanding."
Hebrews 6:1 Greek from dead works
Whether you are practicing homosexuality, having heterosexual sex or celibate, I encourage you to read the hard sayings of Paul as contained in God's Word.
Do Not Live According to the Flesh
God's view is clear on the subject of homosexuality, and although I want to assure congregates that are homosexuals that Christ's church is open to all, it is Spiritually irresponsible not to point gay and lesbian congregates to the Truth of God's Word---as outlined in Romans 1:17-32.
The problem with being political correct and accepting the world's views of tolerance and acceptance of sin, is that the world does not worship God according to His commandments and precepts regarding sin:
Romans 1:21 (NLT)
"Yes, they knew God, but they wouldn’t worship him as God or even give him thanks. And they began to think up foolish ideas of what God was like. As a result, their minds became dark and confused."
All Christians need to read
and Lesbian Relationships
I spent years in therapy dealing with what I know today as experimenting with homosexuality and allowing someone to have anal sex with me.
I also tried sex therapy because as a result of the incident at age 13, sex had become a disgusting and dirty things to me, which affected my marriage of 13 years. I also did not know that my ex-wife was a victim of sexual abuse from her father as a child until after we were divorced, and her father molested all three of our daughters...
My ex-wife's father was arrested and he and my ex-wife's mother and a few of her siblings can never have a relationship with our children as part of the terms of her father's jail release and probation.
Today, I know that God has used the experiences of my life to serve and help save others, and to lead them to the saving Grace of God (Philippians 1:12).
“Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord” (2 Corinthians 10:17 ESV), so I boast about how the Lord can set you free from bondage and depravity, and all things.
Some people who are living homosexual lifestyles claim that they feel free to be "out the closet," but are they truly free?
John 8:31-32 (ESV)
The Truth Will Set You Free
"31 So Jesus said to the Jews who had believed him, “If you abide in my word, you are truly my disciples, 32 and you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
The easiest solution for people, especially spiritually confused Christians---without spending thousands of dollars in therapy---is to understand that Chrsit calls for us NOT to live according to the flesh.
Romans 8:5-8 (NIV)
"5 Those who live according to the flesh have their minds set on what the flesh desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have their minds set on what the Spirit desires. 6 The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace. 7 The mind governed by the flesh is hostile to God; it does not submit to God’s law, nor can it do so. 8 Those who are in the realm of the flesh cannot please God."
It is only through your daring to be uncommon to teach the Truth and God's Word (that Jesus can renew us) in a sympathetic way, that you will fulfill your ministry to serve and save souls from death and eternal damnation.
Yes, you have to point out sin while letting others know you are not perfect. This is why we give our personal testimony first of what our life was like before Christ transformed us. Then, we go to our brothers and sisters in private, tell them that we love them and have an obligation to the Lord to teach Truth.
Now that you understand how important it is to discern good from evil---teach the entire Truth of the Holy Bible, and the hard sayings of God's Word...
1 Corinthians 15:58 (NLT)
"58 So, my dear brothers and sisters, be strong and immovable.
Always work enthusiastically for the Lord, for you know that nothing you do for the Lord is ever useless."
Dare To Be Uncommon
Stop playing it safe going over the basic teachings of the Holy Bible and the historical accounts---start teaching solid food for people to discern good from evil. In this intellectual world today people are not and do not want to be treated like babies. Dare to be uncommon and please lead souls to the hard sayings of the Word of God, so that they may truly be saved by a personal relationship with Christ and continued guidance of the Holy Spirit.
We no longer need to make church relevant to the world, we need to keep the body of Christ separate from the world and set apart---sanctified through Grace.
Hebrews 4:14-16 (NLT)
Christ Is Our High Priest
"14 So then, since we have a great High Priest who has entered heaven, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold firmly to what we believe. 15 This High Priest of ours understands our weaknesses, for he faced all of the same testings we do, yet he did not sin. 16 So let us come boldly to the throne of our gracious God. There we will receive his mercy, and we will find grace to help us when we need it most.
Today, I no longer lived plagued by mental illness or my childhood and yound adult years. By my willingness to surrender to God's Word, and the Lord's Grace, I have been relieved of depression, low self-esteem, drug and alcohol abuse (through God's grace for me to get back to 12-Step meetings on a regular attendance and utilizing my support group). The psychosis that made me want to take my own life for decades has been destroyed by the Grace of God. I feel free to still embrace by feminine side as I share the non-homophobic beauty of gastronomy, visual and performing arts, travel, fashion, style and design.
I did not know that the Lord would take my self-centered and judgmental nature and transform me into a person who today laughs at the evil of this world and what has happened to me bad---to rightly divide the Word of Truth.
I pray that if you are gay or lesbian that you will attend a Bible-based church to hear the Word of God unadulterated, and be convicted by the Holy Spirit to change your lifestyle away from homosexuality and immorality.
Only Christ can save, and if we do not address the sins and evil in the world today by pointing out what is wrong and contrary to the Word of God, then we contribute to The Lukewarm Church, complacency, the attitude of indifference and worldly views---and ultimately the Great Apostasy, instead of God's world view.
Godspeed and agape love,
Brother David Johnson, XU
Christianity is NOT a sect, denomination or religion---it is all about a personal relationship with Jesus Christ, and reading and following God's Word.